My Brother the Champion: Taking a page from Kevin's book

This was supposed to go up back in May when it was Kevin's birthday, but better late than never right?! RIIIGHT?!?!

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Meet Kevin.

                                            

Philadelphia vs. Buffalo
Orchard Park, NY

Springfield, PA

He is an all-around nice guy, graphic designer, occasional Flavor Flav impersonator, professional athlete, and best of all - he's my brother.

Talk about breaking the mold. 

He's been able to do this on several levels. It started in high school when he took his first graphic design class and loved it. Then he decided he not only liked graphic design, but he wanted to major in it in college. It took some convincing for my parents to get on board, but he did it and did it well.

Next. Ultimate frisbee (or just plain ultimate). He started the club team while studying at West Chester University and then took it to a whole new level. He was not only a serious player, but began to coach and then played for not one but two teams. 

After graduating with his degree he entered a difficult job market (stupid recession), but was able to support himself by working various jobs including: at a Volkswagon dealership, Starbucks, Wachovia (now Wells Fargo), and a couple sporting goods stores.

While he bounced from job to job the one constant thing in his life was ultimate. On any given week he would be doing something ultimate related at least 4-5 days. On weeknights you'd find him at the field practicing or coaching. On the weekends you'd find him at the field playing or coaching. He'd travel far and wide to attend all sorts of tournaments.

With all of this ultimate-ting our parents grew worried he had his priorities mixed up. After all, his bachelor's degree was in graphic design, not playing ultimate. And truth be told he had little time to dedicate to job searches and building his portfolio, but being involved with ultimate made him happy. It was his passion.

Fast forward to February of this year when he tells me about the Philadelphia Spinners which was going to be one of the teams in the first professional ultimate league called the American Ultimate Disc League (AUDL). He then casually mentions that he was planning to try out for it! 

So in 40 degree weather on a February night he and 70 of his closest ultimate companions showed up to day-one of open tryouts. From 70 players they chose 35 for day number two and from 35 they named 23 to the active roster. Kevin was named one of the 23. Check out his profile and some great photos of him being airborne here (not taken by me).

First pay check from the Spinners!

I had never been more excited for him than when he told me he had made the team. It was then that I realized he had achieved a life long goal. Not bad achieving a life long goal at 26 years young! It really got me thinking.

It was especially thought provoking given where I am in my career search: still searching.  What is it that I am passionate about? What is it that I want? What's the practical decision versus the one that will make me happy? 

But the story doesn't stop there. Despite a great start to the season and finding himself on the front page of the Spinners website, Kevin later began to see less playing time towards the end of the season causing a lot of frustration. However, as a spectator you would never know it. He was always the first to high-five his teammates coming off the field and his Facebook and Twitter accounts conveyed nothing but positive statements and excitement. He's what you call a team player. 

National anthem during Philadelphia vs. Buffalo
Orchard Park, NY

While I know he wanted nothing more than to be out there for every point possible, his disappointment did not keep him from giving any less to the team. He was there for every practice, team commitment, and game. 

Kevin and the Spinners went 13-2 this inaugural season obtaining the best record in the league. This past Saturday they traveled to Detroit to play the Championship Game against the Indiana Alley Cats. Once again they came out on top beating them 29-22 which only means one thing. My brother is a champion. 

There is a well known quote from Conan O'Brien during his last show as the Late Night host on NBC that I love and feel is applicable to the situation:

"... please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

Additionally, after years and years of being at jobs he did not care for and being turned down for ones he wanted, he interviewed and was offered a position at Buckman's Ski Shop as their head graphic designer. He tells me their offices look like a ski lodge and they have an office dog named Donny.

So Kevin, if you're reading this this is what I have to say to you: 

I have an immense amount of respect for you because day after day, year after year, despite the nagging of family, stress of not having a graphic design related job, as well as the stress of holding a job you did not enjoy, you never gave up on ultimate - the one thing you knew you loved. Choosing ultimate over job searches was never the practical decision, but it was the right decision for you at the time. I believe it is too often we give up the things we enjoy to do what is "right".

Regardless of disappointment from not getting enough time on the field or having the pick up the slack of another employee you kept a positive attitude which is arguably more difficult than any practice drill or lay out you would have to execute.

You have worked hard and mom always says she couldn't have picked a more appropriate Chinese name for you because not only are you kind, but you are gentle. There will be disappointments as there have been in the past, but just continue to work hard because amazing things will continue to happen for you.

I could not be more proud of you and am lucky to have you as my brother to look up to. I love you, buddy! :)

Third quarter during Philadelphia vs. Buffalo
Orchard Park, NY

Karma

One of the services we offer is photo restoration. You bring us that totally beat up, bent, discolored, and perhaps even torn photo and we send it to a Photoshop expert to make it look like the original (sometimes even better).


George had been in the store about a month ago to pick up a photo restoration that we had completed for him. It was a photo of his grandfather. He was very happy with the result which was why I was surprised he had come back to the store with that same photo. 


Somewhere between scanning the original to the Photoshop people, getting it back, and printing, his grandfather's feet had been cropped ever so slightly. I called the company and they were willing to add on the cropped off portion at no additional cost. Great! My manager told me to just scan it in to our computer and send it as an attachment to them. No problem. 


Me: We'll give you a call when it is back.
G:   Ok great. You guys are going to take good care of it right?
Me: Of course we are!


About a half hour before closing I finally got around to scanning the photo. We have 2 scanners we use. One is a manual flat bed scanner while the other (a Kodak scanner) has rollers and feeds the photo(s) through. I decided to use the Kodak since it was already hooked up to our computer with internet access.


I pressed "Go" and what I saw was the top layer of the photo literally getting stripped by the rubber rollers pulling the photo through. The scanner was spitting out bits and pieces of the original photo George had left us. 


I wanted to DIE!


After screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (in my head)" the next thing I wanted to do was hit "ctrl+z" to undo it all. When I realized that this man's photo was physically in pieces and I couldn't ctrl+z, I wanted to cry. After picking up my jaw off the floor I tried to salvage whatever pieces were left and put them all in one place. If there was anything positive about the situation it was that the feet we were going to add on to the restored photo miraculously were scanned. 


Not knowing what else to do I gathered the remaining pieces and placed them in one area and saved what had been scanned into the computer. I went home that night and upon consulting with AB we decided it would be best if I wrote an email to my manager explaining what had happened so he wouldn't be blind sided by it when he came in the next morning. I said I would take full responsibility for the mishap.


I then proceeded to sob into AB's shoulder as he reassured me it was going to be OK, it was an honest mistake, I wasn't going to be fired, and he was sure the customer would understand. 


I was not so optimistic about the situation. Even if the photo was restored to perfection I feel there is some kind of sentimental attachment to the original photo. How can anyone be understanding of a mishap like this?  


The next morning Mr. Manager took a look at the pile of photo, took a sip from his ice coffee, and uttered, "yep, that's pretty bad". Thankfully he's a bit of a Photoshop whiz himself. He took a large part of the morning to attach the feet on to the restored photo and then followed that up with some color correction. 


After he finished he walked over to me with the phone and said, "Now, you're going to have to call George and tell him what happened."


He proceeded to go over how I should tell him what happened, what we could offer in compensation, etc... It was actually a really good teaching moment and I was very grateful he didn't just hand me the phone and tell me "good luck!".


I called hoping to catch George on the phone so I could get it over and done with. *Ring, ring, ring, ring* nothing. I got the answering machine. I left a detailed message describing what had happened and encouraged him to call back and ask for me.


A few days passed with no word from him. I was in agony. Finally, on a Saturday afternoon he strolled in saying he was here to pick up a photo restoration. I ran to get his order, showed him the photo, and said, "We were able to complete the restoration."


G:   *looking at the photo* That's great!
Me: But did you listen to the whole message I left you?
G:   Oh I don't know. It was a few days ago. I don't remember these types of things.
Me: The original photo was damaged when we scanned it.
G:   Oh that's OK. It was damaged to begin with. That's why I brought it in to you guys.
Me:  No, I mean it's really, really, damaged. It's in pieces.
G:   Oh don't worry about it. It was my fault for leaving having it exposed to the sun for all those years and then I put it over the fireplace where the heat damaged it.
Me:  Oh my gosh. Thank you for understanding, but I just feel terrible!


And then an amazing thing happened. He touched my hand and said, "Look, you're Asian and I'm Italian. You understand the significance of our ancestors and what they mean to us. This is a photo of my grandfather. Between me and my family in Italy I was the only one with a photo of him. I was entrusted with the task of making sure this photo was salvaged and copies were made. All that matters is that we have a photo of him to remember him by."


The weight of the world had been taken off my shoulders. I wanted to hug him.


I don't know how many times it happens that the customer consoles the employee (I'm guessing never), but it happened to me. 


His compensation was just extra prints and he was very happy with that. I wish I could have done more for him, because I don't think he realizes what he did for me by being so understanding. 


If I were in his shoes and saw someone genuinely sorry for what happened I believe I would have reacted the same way he did. Perhaps it was just Karma being on my side that day.

I Didn't Think I Cared

The thought paying a couple hundred dollars just to RENT a stupid oversized robe with a funny hat was impractical and unnecessary. However, I was unexpectedly overcome with a bit of sadness as I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed seeing everyone's graduation photos and status updates. 


I didn't think I cared about dressing up in a blue and yellow robe, walking across a stage to get a piece of paper, and listening to some random speaker telling me how we're going to shape the future. But I guess I do. I really wish I was back in Rochester today with the rest of my lab mates that I started the 5+ year journey with. 


A part of me didn't think I deserved to celebrate graduating again. My parents had thrown me a really nice graduation party in December, I had already received gifts, hugs, and a plethora of congratulations. It also just didn't make sense for me to fly out East when I'm already going to be there at the end of June. But, being pragmatic is one thing and how you feel is another.


I don't know when I will learn that it's not always about being practical. Emotions aren't practical. 


Anyway, enough whining from me. Today is about celebrating. 


Being a part of this graduate class I know what an achievement today symbolized for many of us. It has been a lot of hard work, learning, lessons, stress, and staring at spectra or numbers that just don't make any sense. Whether it was perseverance, stubbornness, or a genuine interest in what we were doing we made it to the light at the end of the tunnel.


My sincerest congratulations to all my fellow lab mates that I now call my friends and everyone else celebrating graduation at any level :)


We did it!!

Pride

I'm back! It's been a busy month (in a good way) having friends and family visit and AB was on a very easy going rotation. But everyone is back home and AB is back on his medicine rotation which means him coming home before 9 pm is a good day. 

At any rate, today we're talking pride.

The thought of working for minimum wage with a PhD degree during grad school was a sense of relief or even something I yearned. What I would have given to be able to show up, work my hours, and then go home. I would be compensated if I worked overtime, expectations and tasks would be obvious, and I could go home without bringing any baggage. I joked I would have been happier bagging groceries than running experiments at times. But was I really OK with that? Probably a classic case of the grass always being greener on the other side.

So how green was that grass because I've got my degree and I'm working below minimum wage + commission. I now show up to work when I'm assigned to and when I clock-out I am not expected to do much else other than make sure I show up when I'm supposed to again. Well, it's not that green. Maybe something like this as opposed to this. One thing I had not considered was my pride - which at the time I thought was non-existent.

I do not view myself as someone that gets my jollies from having a certain status or extra letters at the end of my name. Although, if I am honest with myself I would have to admit that I expect people to be some what impressed with my accomplishment and I feel I am a notch above the majority of the population for the same reason. I of course am very uncomfortable acknowledging this about myself.

Let's talk numbers for a moment. According to the Education Attainment portion of the 2011 census, only 3% of the population 25 and older have either a PhD, EdD, etc or professional degrees such as MD, JD, etc. If we don't include the professional degrees then we are only 1.5% of the population 25 and older. Those are small percentages! The numbers say I'm part of a pretty exclusive club. 

I understand that having this degree doesn't make me a better person or even necessarily smarter than others, but it does mean I have achieved something that not many others have. I lose sight of that (I was shocked it was only 1.5%) because I have been surrounded by people with advanced degrees. But back to the matter at hand. My pride. It exists and the numbers (although not necessary) justify it for me.

It has been difficult knowing I am working a job a high school student without a diploma could do. Not only that, but the employees there (most of them younger) are doing a better job than me. Here's this chick with a PhD that can barely work the register at times. It's also quite the change of pace when you go from being the expert on your project to knowing much less about the products they sell which also contributes to my feeling incompetent. 

The majority of customers walking in probably assume I'm in college (at best) and I am sure many don't even give me the time of day if there is an inkling that I may not know the answer to something. I so badly want to say, "I'm not an idiot I promise! I have a post-graduate degree! I'm part of the 1.5%"... ok maybe I'd leave that last one out.


I can't blame the customers for thinking that way though. I realize I too judge people or make assumptions about them even if I don't mean to or want to. 

Last week a customer came in to discuss digitally archiving her 50 scrapbooks and complimented me on my engagement ring which led to a discussion about AB and what he does and how we met. Her husband is a retired internist physician that had worked at Scripps, which is what AB is in line to do. Eventually I told her I had a PhD in chemistry (the first and only time I've ever relayed this information to a customer) and I could almost hear the respect growing inside her. At the beginning of the conversation she seemed weary of the amount of money she would need to spend and whether we could handle the task. Once she heard I had this degree it was as if she had this new found confidence in me and we instantly had another level of connection. She ended up being my biggest sale that day.

This job has been a change of pace in a lot of ways, but one I don't think I mentally prepared for was the lack of acknowledgment of my background. I've had to swallow my pride and tuck away Dr. Chiang as quickly as I attained that title. Ironically, what makes me feel better about myself nowadays is talking and being affiliated with chemistry.

The ACS Conference, an event where ~16,000 chemists congregate to eat and drink chemistry for a week, was in town a month ago. I went to take advantage of the career center and meet up with friends. Just being in the presence of other chemists made me feel like "oooh look at me with my ridiculously large badge and tacky lanyard. I'm special."

So despite my desire to run away from chemistry while I was in grad school, now that I'm no longer there I seek ways to affiliate myself with it again to increase my self-worth. The grass really is always greener.

Twenty Eight

Birthdays (or celebrating any aspect of me) can be tricky. I have difficulty admitting that I like being the center of attention - to a degree. I'm not brave enough to admit it fully. 

Modesty has become so engrained in my mind that being otherwise has subconsciously become labeled as being bad, arrogant, or self-centered. So how dare I want to be surprised, given gifts, or acknowledged just because I decided to waltz out of the womb on a day that happens to coincide with the mathematical constant, pi. Although I have no problem admitting being born on pi day is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Awesome pi earrings I wear on pi day from Celina.
(Click on photo to enlarge)

But lets face it, I'm human and I respond to encouragement, positive feedback, and wrapped gifts with my name on it. 

Self-acknowledgment was the crux of my therapy sessions while I was in graduate school. It was here that I began to attempt to keep my self-judgments for wanting to celebrate whatever it was about me to a minimum. It continues to be a work in progress.

So when AB asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner, with minimal hesitation I responded, "Roys". It is a pricey Hawaiian fusion restaurant I had my eye on since last March when I was in Anaheim, CA for a conference. Then AB and I happened to move into an apartment where there is a Roys in the shopping center across the street!

We went, we ate, and I loved every minute of it (especially the part where we didn't know how to eat the edamame). I completely underestimated how satisfying it could be to get something you wanted, not needed. The trick is to not feel guilty about it! 

Here are a few out of focus photos of our meal:

Instead of bread they serve edamame. 

Mango Mojito

Appetizers

Duck Confit & Roasted Mushroom Flat Bread
Arugula, Parmesan Cheese, Balsamic Nitsume

Korean Soup
Braised Short Rib, Daikon, Carrot, Potato, Cilantro, Chili, Aromatic Beef Stock

Entrees

Boursin Stuffed Chicken

Potato Pave, Chinese Long Beans & Shiitakes, Orange Cranberry Compote, Pinot Noir Reduction 

Shisho Crusted Salmon 
Bacon Wilted Spinach, Caramelized Onion Polenta, Roasted Red pepper Dashi

  

Dessert

Pear Tart 
Puff Pastry, Goat Cheese Cream, Streusel Powder & Salt Caramel

Roy's Melting Hot Chocolate Soufflé
Raspberry Coulis, Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

So for everyone that took the time to wish me a happy birthday whether by phone, email, text message, or Facebook (it's a chance to reconnect with people you don't normally correspond with), thank you! And I'm obviously grateful and appreciative to those that gave me gifts :D. It does make me feel special.

I also have a tendency to feel guilty for liking pretty shiny things like jewelry because it's expensive and unnecessary. Well, check out what AB got me...

Happy 28th birthday to ME!

Lightroom 3 Test Drive

Since moving I have spent several hours on Craigslist searching for cheap used furniture, apartment decor, and possible jobs (photo or science). 


A UCSD student advertised on there he was looking for subjects to shoot for his photography class. I decided this would be a good opportunity for some free engagement shots. I recently received the photos he took and decided to process* one myself just to give Lightroom 3 a spin - so far I love it! I didn't think the first photo I would introduce on this blog would be one I didn't take, but I loved this one too much not to share.


*After a photographer obtains the digital form of their photos (either from a digital camera or scanning negatives into a computer) they typically process, correct, and/or enhance it using programs such as Photoshop. Lightroom 3 can be thought of as Photoshop-lite or (or iPhoto Deluxe). It gives you more control over what you can change plus many many other functions. 


For this particular photo below I cropped, adjusted the white balance, increased the contrast, and adjusted the exposure.

Engagement shoot at Windansea Beach in La Jolla, CA.
(click photo to enlarge)

Photo credit: Tim Marymee

PS. We've been to a few beaches around here, but this was our first visit to Windansea. It is breath taking. Not a ton of beach space, but a lot of large rocks and bluffs to sit on and watch the ocean and surfers. I highly recommend it if you're ever in the area!

** This purchase of Lightroom 3 made possible by former roommate Matt and my parents :D **

Trial by Fire

My first day at work was Wednesday and I have never felt more out of my own element. Training consists of trial by fire. You get fed some information, but you start serving customers on day 1. I don't know that I have ever felt so incompetent. 

"Ritz Camera UTC. How may I help you?"

"Hi. I'm wondering if you guys have intervalometers for Canons."

What the crap is an intervalometer??? I had never heard that word in my life! 

Between bugging the manager who was with a customer and trying to buy time without sounding completely moronic to the gentleman that called I some how was able to answer the customer's question. 


After answering a few more phone calls and watching the manager make sales, day 1 was thankfully over. 


Day 2 brought more challenges, but it also brought progress. A gentleman walked in looking for a camera bag and after I showed him how to adjust the slots he said he'd take it. My first sale! 


I helped two more gentleman later in the day where one bought a Sony USB flash drive and the second a Sunpak 6200 tripod for $49.99 + tax. I answered more phone calls and was asked about more products and brands I had never heard of, fumbled at the register, dropped receipts, and took way too long to find photo orders customers were picking up. Although for day 2 I guess it was as good as it could be. 


Today was day 3 and I sold my first big ticket item. I sold a Nikon D5100 kit (awesome camera by the way), a Sunpak LED macro ring light, and a warranty plan for a whopping $1083. That was the highlight of my day. 


As the day went on the store got busy and I was limited in my ability to ask for help or to check whether I was doing something right. The manager had to retake a passport photo I had taken for a lady earlier after I had told her it would be ready in 15 min. Another lady was dropping off 4 rolls of film (yes, people still shoot with film and it's awesome) to develop and instead of being a 5 minute process it felt like I kept her there for a half hour because I didn't know how to ring the order up. A few other things happened that just served as reminders that I was new and didn't know what I was doing. 


As I was looking at the schedule for the next two weeks I felt myself on the verge of a panic attack. I am petrified of a customer calling me out on not knowing my facts and taking it out on me or worse on the store by not coming back. I'm scared of taking a print order and it not being done within the hour I said it would be. I'm afraid the manager and employees might question how I ever made it through grad school because I seem so incompetent. 


I know these incidences sound minor and normal for someone on their first few days, but I swear I feel I'm going to be responsible for the collapse of the store because all the customers I interact with will think I'm a complete idiot. 


A part of me really wants to quit because I just feel so ridiculously uncomfortable, but the other part of me knows that this is great for me. Putting myself out there, making myself vulnerable, forcing me to think on my feet, and trying to make a sale are all experiences I can learn from. I just wish these experiences came with training wheels.

First of Many Firsts

I have experienced a lot of "firsts" these past few months. I defended my thesis, moved to the west coast, became a resident of another state, moved in with my significant other,   and traumatically, for the first time in my adult life I was unemployed.

For the first time the next step wasn't obvious to me. Technically the obvious next step was to post-doc, but 5.5 years of graduate school helped me decide I was done with research. A couple more years of it was not going to change how I felt about it. 

While I did my best to find leads and network for potential job opportunities prior to graduating, my time was limited as I scrambled to finish writing and some last experiments. And so only with with the intention to apply for science media/journalism related internships I defended and moved out here to San Diego in time to ring in the new year with my fiance, AB.

I really should have started blogging in mid-January when I began having trouble dealing with my freedom. More than anything else it was the lack of structure in my days. I could wake up and go to bed as I pleased and essentially had no responsibilities. I know approximately ALL of you want to strangle me right now, but hear me out. In grad school I would have also killed to have this kind of time. So trust me, it came as a surprise when I began to recognize the signs of mild-depression that I was experiencing.

I soon realized not having anything to do also meant having no sense of accomplishment, which apparently was important for me. How was I going to justify how I spent a day? 

Additionally, this was the first time I wasn't receiving a paycheck. With moving and living expenses and payments for the wedding I watched the savings I had accrued over almost a decade practically vanish.

After settling in I began to take charge of our finances and came up with a budget so we could continue saving for the wedding on AB's paycheck. I started searching for coupons and grocery deals, mapped out the most efficient routes to the stores to save on gas, and made all of our meals. Helping us to save money became how I could gain the feeling of accomplishment. It wasn't enough.

I followed through my plan of applying for the those internships but wasn't going to hear back until March and decided in the mean time I needed a job. It would address the finance issue and get me out of the apartment. But what kind of job? I either needed a job that would let me go on a 10 week hiatus if I was lucky enough to get one of the internships or get a job that I could afford to quit.

And so one day when I successfully got myself out of the apartment and walked to the mall across the street I passed the Ritz Camera store that happened to have a sign advertising that they were hiring. I picked up an application and debated for a week whether this was something I really wanted to do. 

Long story short, after two rounds of interviews and a background check they offered me the job. So there you have it. I got a job. I am now a Ritz Camera part-time employee. There's a first.

Allow me to introduce myself...

I am Karpatchi. Yup, that's my real name (no it's not).

I'm your fairly typical Taiwanese American that grew up in the suburbs of Philly. Did well enough in school, had my extra curricular activities, played my musical instruments, full ride to Villanova University, received a BS in Chemistry, and then went on to obtain a MS and PhD in Chemistry from the University of Rochester. Super. There's just one problem; I don't want to be a research chemist.

If not research then what? Glad I asked. 

While grinding through graduate school I acknowledged for the first time that I had a creative side. It had been suppressed, tucked away, and only came out to play when I had a camera in my hand - or so I thought. Of course it had always been with me. I just never paid it any attention. However, with time and encouragement from friends and family I began to accept that I had a knack for photography.

Not getting enough satisfaction out of chemistry research, I eventually came up with a way to marry and utilize my creative side along with my scientific mind. I want to become a science broadcaster. I think. (maybe I just want to be a photographer? a discussion for separate post).

You know, the person that gets the facts together for your weekly NOVA program, Lab Radio on NPR, or maybe just the go-to science correspondant on your local news. 

The issue at hand is that there is no obvious route to this destination. 

This blog will serve several purposes for me: 1) Putting thoughts to paper/computer screen has always been therapeutic. I have a tendency to think in circles. 2) I recognize that this is a major crossroad in my  life and I want to document it. 3) I value the opinions and advice of other people, especially from family and friends. 4) To create discussions. 5) I have done a piss poor job of staying in touch with those people I care about. With everyone in different geographic locations and on different schedules this is an attempt to keep you informed of what is going on in my life. 6) To gain writing experience.

I hope you will join me as I navigate my way towards a career.


PS. Thanks to Tulaza who gave me the idea for the blog name.